Feeling Flowers

Early, early last Spring something in my work blossomed. A collection of 20 or so flower paintings that seem to come out of nowhere. It was a burst of an experience, I lost myself in beautiful blooms, painting as I sensed them by smell, touch and of course, sight. Come late Autumn, I had a choice to make…

Lavender from the front garden.

Most of my paintings, bar a couple that I simply couldn’t part with sold. It was so brilliant to see them go to loving homes and I delighted in seeing the photographs that clients sent me of them in situ.

Looking at the seriously depleted collection, I had a choice:

I could go on painting flowers - flowers sell right?

or

I could stop, fully wind down and wait for the second wind to come. This wasn’t an easy choice.

I’m 52 now and want to make work that I truly feel in my tummy that I am fully present with.

Sounds horribly arty I know.

Experience tells me that if I ‘tear the arse out of it’ or ‘burn the candle at both ends’ with a collection, my mojo withers and the work I make becomes more about commerce than pure joy and discovery.

Here I have to thank my partner Carl. He knows me well and we both have the experience of 2019 when I became totally burnt out from painting dogs. He stood by me when I told him that painting flowers was over, full present in feelings of having done it and may well never return.

Everything has a curve.

Interest, Experience, Play, Elevation from a successful collection, Peak Sales /Peak happiness and so begins the downside. Tiredness, replacing paintings because I feel have to rather than want. It’s a slippery slide into becoming utterly knackered.

Let’s imagine discovering eating chocolate for the first time.

Left in a room piled with chocolate, you touch, feel, sniff then eat. Eating is delicious, you feel that wonderful feeling of unctuousness and satiation. You eat more and more and so begins the downside. You soon begin to feel sick, you carry on eating and soon after you NEVER EVER want to see a chocolate bar EVER again.

I really didn’t want to get to this point with my flower work.

So I stopped. It’s now coming on a year since I put my brushes down and I’m feeling the tingle to return to working with them, something I’ve waited what seems ages for.

I’m excited, and that’s how I know I’m ready to go again.

More soon

Sam x