It’s very simple really: New experiences offer new things to paint. So why do I find it so hard to say yes, I’ll go?
So, it’s been a bit ages since I’ve sat down to write. Life took over, a boost in sales, enquiries, and dog commissions saw my head very much in my paints, a very happy place for an artist to be, of course.
Amidst all this happy work, is summer and life fully going on around me. Summer festivals, things to get involved with, a partner that is willing to go anywhere, experience anything at the single drop of a hat.
So why do I find it hard to say yes - let’s go?
I am sure it’s about control, staying in my studio is my comfort space afterall, but more than this, perhaps it’s about headspace. If I let new things in, will all the things I know and love be altered?
This summer I have enjoyed some serious conversations with myself - and come out the other side stronger for doing so.
I’ve been a bit stuck and I think the following reasons are why…
What if I’m not around if one of my children needs me?
Can we afford it?
Will I be too tired?
Will it be a waste of time?
Asking the questions is enlightening enough. It’s interesting to see my thought patterns. Control of situations is suffocating.
It’s enormously unlikely my children need me, they are emerging adults engaging in life themselves - they are the ones telling me to go, everytime. Yes, we can afford it, is a scare tactic that I ask myself repeatedly. Will I be too tired? er, no. Energy comes from doing and new experiences. A waste of time? Again, a scare tactic to talk myself out of doing - how will I know if I don’t go.
This summer something has changed in me.
I’m more willing to get involved in life itself outside of my studio.
In spring of this year, I became half of ‘The Friendly Sketch Club’ with a fellow artist. We are now approaching our 5th event and being part of a group, turning up to do something we enjoy is offering me gifts. Say yes, and go. I’m getting all sorts of gifts from this club.
I think as a midlife woman (I’m 55 now) my years of being at home, (like mission control for my family) are easing and it’s up to me to push the crack in the door and take part in wider life again.
It truly feels exciting.
Much love
Sam x
My painting here illustrates my point perfectly. This weekend we went to ‘The Black Shuck Festival’ near to where we live in Suffolk. It was a brilliant experience, full of life, humans, and folk stories.
If I hadn’t gone, I wouldn’t have been inspired to make this painting above.
It’s called ‘Shuckly Does It’ and is an original oil on board.
48.5 × 43.5 framed. £645 (coming to my website soon or email me here for details)
